everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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