I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
as a side note pls kill me
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
