i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
