i dont even know how to be here
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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