It's Friday. Sex?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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