Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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