Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Randomize
