Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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