it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
