her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
That accounts for only three of the penises
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
