Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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