There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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