Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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