i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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