..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
