What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
