So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
