i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i think i have two assholes
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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