But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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