and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
