whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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