are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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