Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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