Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
