So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize