Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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