He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize