i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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