someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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