dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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