Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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