You don't have asthma, your pregnant
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
