yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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