is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
