i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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