Duck Duck Cougar?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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