I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
