Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
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