I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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