Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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