I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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