I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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