Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
