I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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