id be glad to
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
