i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
