no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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