so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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