dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
