bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
