Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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