dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
