All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize