the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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