If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
