Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
