Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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