You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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