If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
