yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize