I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
