I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
