Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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