I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
it was like eating out sand paper
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
