laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
